An Experiment In Scotch

I write to discover what I believe

Month: September 2007

Attachments

I’m a firm believer in the fact that comments on web sites typically drag the conversation down to the lowest common denominator but occasionally, you find a comment that is insightful.  I found one of those on reddit the other day and I thought it was worth mentioning:  “People who carry cellphones remind me of dogs who proudly carry their leash around in their mouths.”

Now being both a cellphone carrier and a dog-owner, this strikes me on both sides but there is a certain amount of truth to the matter when you think how proud a dog is when he gets to put his leash in his mouth, never understanding the deeper significance that he is showing off his submission and lack of control.  To a large degree (and mostly I’m talking about those idiots with the ear dongle cellphones), people with cell phones are just like that, largely missing out on the greater irony of being proud of something that is controlling their lives.  Like many other things, this makes me want to throw my cell phone in the trash.  Either that or give it to the dog.

I Am Making a Difference

Not the difference this guy is but still, I’m making a difference.  Or something like that.

Taxonomic Job Classification

I have decided that you can classify jobs on a taxonomic basis, i.e. every job is just like some living creature.  I have also decided that my current job is like being a old, stately oak.  In a drought.  Where your leaves die.  And then a limb or two.  Then slowly, your heart and soul begin to fade and you croak but it’s a very slow process.   Sometimes you get a little sprinkle of rain that brightens your prospects for a day or two, then it’s back to slowly dying again.   It’s fun.

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about jobs that are like spiny anteaters.  Or something.

God Busy Helping NFL QB Back Into Game, Forgets Everyone Else

By the hand of God, Jon Kitna returned to the game against Minnesota Sunday as he led them to an overtime win.  Meanwhile, lots of other people who God found undeserving generally had bad things happen to them like death.  While God loves Jon Kitna, he hates people like me who had the Lions at -3.5.  God basically confirmed that he likes rich white QBs more than most everyone else.

God did not return calls seeking comment on this story.

Great News For The NBA

David Stern has reinstated the worst ref in history.  Oh wait, no that’s really not very good news, is it now?  Why in the world you’d reinstate an employee who basically tried to pick a fight with another employee is beyond me.  After the whole “NBA Ref Shaves Points For the Mob” fiasco, I’d think Stern would want to keep as clean a public image as possible.  Instead, Hey Joey Crawford, here’s your whistle back.   Thanks for being suspended over the summer during all those summer league games.

I swear to god, the NBA seems to have a death wish.  It’s painful to watch games, it may be that those games are fixed and on top of that, they are reinstating refs that pick fights with players and try wholeheartedly to inject themselves and their astoundingly large egos into every game.  Only football gets me through the first 4 months of NBA season and it’s cold and dark after that.

New Lows

The Democratic Party and Moveon.org have sunk to new lows in their race to the bottom.  The New York Times follows closely behind.  Our political process has become extreme and incapable of involving gray areas of discussion.  Both parties are at fault here.  But the Democrats and their hard left anti-war, pro-defeat base are clearly leading the charge.

To slander a 4 star general fresh from the conflict in Iraq as a liar and a betrayer is disgusting.  The Moveon ad features no proof, no links, no supporting evidence for its disgusting assertion of “facts”.  However, multiple reports from people in Iraq show that the surge truly is working and no amount of crap from the far left can change that.  And the American people, showing yet again that they are smarter than the liberal elites would ever give them credit for, are getting it.

The Democrats have painted themselves into a corner where defeat is the only way to continue winning.  It’s a disgusting position to find yourself in but when you actively participated in the events that got you there, sympathy is hard to find.  I predicted that the Dems would sweep into power in 06 only to screw themselves so badly with foreign policy bumbles and be swept right back out in 08.  I think that’s still a pretty safe bet given the acts of the past few days.

Smoking

So approximately 214 days ago, at the end of a fun night involving the Super Bowl, I swore off cigarettes until football season.  Mostly this was done as a gimmick to give me a day to shoot for far, far in the future.  Now mind you, I was never much of a smoker, it came and went and mostly involved stress at work or drinking.  But I did way more of it than I really wanted to and knew I shouldn’t.  Now, 214 days later, I’ve gone longer without a cigarette than any time in the last 10 years.  I don’t crave them nearly as much but there are still times when I really, really want one.  Road trips are still really hard.  Casinos are almost impossible.  But overall, I’m happy with the results.

I was afraid that I would reach the milestone and then collapse but I’m actually in great shape now and plus, the idea of throwing away 214 days and starting over is a pretty strong motivator.  I think that people who quit should mark the day carefully and have it in a prominent place so that they always know what it is that they are throwing away if they start again.