An Experiment in Scotch

I always won­dered what hap­pened to Sheryl Crow.  In her early albums, she was a real poet but later in her career she turned into a piece of pop fluff, not really turn­ing out any­thing of interest.  Turns out, that’s because she’s been con­cen­trat­ing on the wrong things.  Seri­ously, would you want to stay mar­ried to some­one who thought 3 sheets of TP were the max limit?

See­ing her wave that hand around just makes me go ick.  Will you ever be able to see her again and not won­der about her, ummm, cleanliness?  If I’m her PR guy, my resume just hit Mon­ster faster than the poop after chili night.

Related: “All I wanna do is wipe my bum.”

In other poop news, the PoopRe­port is all the news fit to read while back­ing the brown Cadil­lac out of the garage.