An Experiment in Scotch

If Para­mount can dump Tom Cruise for his stu­pid and insane behav­ior, so can you. Don’t worry, your career can be revived after this silly lit­tle misstep. If not, there’s always Cin­e­max.
Tom should have to wear baggy pants around his thighs. Though that episode on Oprah should suf­fice really.