An Experiment in Scotch

As many of you know, it’s elec­tion time for lots of city coun­cils around the Metroplex. You should def­i­nitely get out and vote as it’s your Amer­i­can duty. Or some­thing like that. But scold­ing you for being a worth­less no-account isn’t what I’m inter­ested in today. No, I’m inter­ested in a cer­tain can­di­date for Gar­land City Coun­cil Dis­trict 2. There are two peo­ple run­ning for this place, one Terri D. Dunn and one Laura K. Perkins Cox.

Now I have no idea what the qual­i­fi­ca­tions of either can­di­date are or who you should vote for if you live in Garland. In fact, before my drive home yes­ter­day, I had no idea about any of this. But on that ill-fated drive home, I encoun­tered the lawn signs of Ms. Cox, she of the “four names isn’t enough to dif­fer­en­ti­ate me from the crowd” group. You see, Ms. Cox has a nick­name, one that seems to me would be one you might not want on your advertisements. But Ms. Cox is proud of her nickname. So proud that it appar­ently is her pre­ferred moniker. Why would I write all these words for a can­di­date I know noth­ing about and can’t even vote for? It’s all because of the name.

Her nick­name is Perky. And she goes by Perky Cox. Yup. Gar­land Dis­trict 2, you have the chance to be rep­re­sented by Perky Cox. How could you not vote for her?