Pro Golfer Wins Tourney, Speaks to Jesus

Aaron Bad­de­ley won his first PGA tour­na­ment at The Ver­i­zon Her­itage this week­end, stand­ing over a 6 foot win­ning par putt on 18 and say­ing “This is for you Jesus” before knock­ing it in. Calls to Jesus’ agent were not returned and an anony­mous source said Jesus was entirely too busy help­ing the poor and down­trod­den to be pay­ing atten­tion to a hot­shot, Chris­t­ian mil­lion­aire giv­ing him props for win­ning a silly golf tournament.

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